An Artists' Life Maxx is sick.

Well. Madd Maxx Attacks is my other baby. Yup, ask Rebecca, and she'll tell you she has a little "brudder" named Maxx. She used to, anyway, when she had time for silly little moments in her life, that I will never forget: Her talking to Maxie boy, and me secretly listenly to every word she said. I won't spill those special lovely beans but let's say this: I had a feeling she was going to a be fabulous mom if she ever had kids. Bingo! She is a terrific mommy, I am so proud of her, I have been known to start babbling...

I can put it better. Dogs and little kids, you can't fool them. If they don't like you, something is wrong with YOU. Yup, live with it. Now plenty of grown-ups don't know what to make of me. I have tried to fit in quietly - be invisible if you will - all my life. Never has worked, I have always not fit in much at all, in the 'normal' ways. The oddest thing is that I don't know why. Am I not just like everyone else you know?

It doesn't seem to matter at all to either babies or dog people at all about my oddness I guess I will call it. I never did meet a baby who didn't warm up to my silliness pretty soon, nor a dog either. I am, hoping, waiting to mature, like a very unfine wine, who probably needs about 80 years to be really ready for presentation to the public!

Maxx to this day - and he is 10 1/2 years old with maybe a kidney infection, a eye and ear problem - I think he is very hard of hearing and a little bit visually impaired, however - if I ask him one question - this is what happens. And think - I am asking a doggie a question. If I say "Where is Rebecca"? He starts barking his head off and runs to the door frantically seeking her. I never ever ask him anymore until I hear her at the door - only at the last second as I don't hear one bit better than poor Madd Maxx. But then you would think he was ten weeks old, as he happily and boistrously bounces barking and screaming to that door - where is she, where is she, where is she?????

No, you read that right, Maxx screams, shrieks, and makes the most ungodly noises that many people have ever heard. Nope, we don't hit or hurt or frighten or abuse this little guy now or ever in any way. He sleeps in bed, right between us, for heavens' sake. He eats whatever part of our own dinners he seems to fancy. Only because he has been so ill. But our family and friends will tell you Maxx has a no-boundaries kind of life. He pokes open the bathroom door when I am trying to be 'alone'. Forget that, he wants to always keep an eye on me.

That trick he has taught his sister LuLu, who is 2 1/2 years old, and dumber than a box of hammers. She has no idea of the most basic words. Sit is something i teach her to do every single day! She topples over, lays down, rolls over Maxx, sometimes steps on his head, and now and then accidentally bites me hard enough to make my finger bleed. But can she sit??? When you ask her? No no no no. Is she stubborn? Nope. She is very agreeable, and gentle and sweet. That only leaves one possibility or two, and I am pretty sure I explained the problem already. And I don't think we ever dropped her on her head, possibility #2.

If I feel like writing about one training class for 3 hours someday, I'll write about the class where I was working with Maxx on the "Down". It is the most difficult task for him, I finally figured out, because of the shape of his huge-barrel chested body. It isn't natural for him to just lie down, like the Sphinx. There is no real way for him to not wobble to one side or the other. AND there is this: To get a dog into the down position, many things must happen. None were happening because Maxxs' bad bad bad Daddy Stevie was sitting on a chair along the sidelines, laughing his butt off so loudly, that pretty soon, almost everyone along the sidelines started laughing too. Distraction is a very bad dog teacher.

Finally Nice old Nana here popped her cork! Quiet Down All Youse I yelled out above the roars of laughter. I have a delinquent Pug Dog here! You can tell that story is really funny, but I can't go on and on all day here...


However LuLu is sneaky or taller than maxx, and has learned how to steal my entire supper on the low table in the living room. She's done it twice - both times, my favorite. French toast and vegetarian sausages. Doused in real maple syrup. She licked every drop of maple syrup off that dish in the time it took me to go to the kitchen and pour a drink, with ice, get a straw, and come back. She smelled lovely, though she is still sticky after I washed her for a 1/2 an hour. Insulting yes, she steals my food, gets all yucky, and I have to wash her off. Oh she loves being washed, let me tell you. Really, I mean. I have never had a dog who loved warm soapy water before. She drinks as much as she gets washed with. Like I said... dumber than a box of hammers... but so sweet, and oh, did I mention she looks like a piggy with bat ears?

So I just won't talk about Maxx getting so sick that he can't control his bladder function very well - I will say he is better than he was four days ago. It has been hard going, but still, it is a little better for him. He needs to go outside every 1/2 hour to hour. the longest he can make it is overnight about 3 hours, and then wakes me up to take him out. If he can't manage to wake either of us up, I set a bunch of puppy pee-pee pads by our bedroom door and Mr. Smarty Pants used them right away. No LuLu is he. I do believe that I once figured out that he knows about 200 words, in one combination or another.

He also know the names and the nicknames of every member of this family, down to our grandchildren. He taught me something brand new this summer: He brings me places where he wants something. He did this by looking over his shoulder at me and then taking three steps, and sitting down and looking back at me. So I followed him, and said "Is this what you want your mama to do, Little Man?" And then he moved forward again just three steps and sat down, and repeated looking over his shoulder for me, me following, etc.

Now when he wants me to follow him, he sits down in front of me, and stares at me a moment. Then gets up, and walks to what he needs and knows he has taught me to follow him. He is some little guy. He never barks when he wants out, because of this, and this is why he has accidents sometimes, because he is trying to get me to follow him while I am sound asleep. Thus the prior barking in my ear. I do think he knows when I can't hear hear him either!

Talk about feeling horrible. He woke me up a couple of mornings ago when this began by barking in my one good ear. I was really pissed off, exhausted, and annoyed. MAXX what do you WANT???? I yelled! Well he jumped out of bed like a rocket and ran down the hallway while I stumbled after him, realizing he was desperate to get out.... And that is when I saw how sick he was feeling.

He is getting better, so we are thinking our prayers and his good strong heart and constitution will pull him through this dreadful mess. Seeing any of our dog people ill is terrible for us - it's an awful lot like babies, cause they can't tell you what is hurting. And since the kids have flown the nest, they are the only 'nestlings' to focus my mothering on a daily basis...