Like Giving Candy to an Artist

Now I used to eat all kinds of disgusting candy when I was a kid. And an adult for that matter. But then I learned a bit about candy and how dangerous a thing it is, and I stopped eating it. Almost never put any in my mouth, but oohhhh, I've put a lot in my brain. Just thinking about it. Truffles. Those round Lindt balls. Oh die from yum.

The Saturday Sentinel ran an interesting story, while the world is perhaps, on the edge of its' existence in the Middle East, and every e-mail I receive that is political is referring to this crisis. About candy. Circus Peanuts in particular. Everything you could possibly want or need to know about this chew ewey gooey orangey childhood favorite of mine, next to 'Peeps'.

The article was great, but so many columns devoted to Circus Peanuts in todays' world seems frivalous beyond belief. Yet, I still can't help thinking what a well written, harmless sort of story it was. Especially in the 'hard news' of every other story in the whole paper. I learned that Circus Peanuts have been around for aoubt 200 years, longer actually, and represent therefore, to me, this freeland, and the penny candy I loved as a child. It is the oldest candy in the country, perhaps the world, I think the article said it came from France, and may have been sold at circuses, thus its' name...

Circus Peanuts were a big treat because even though I am old, penny candy was still sold only at one store, and I didn't always have a penny. And this: The dental care my parents paid for and screamed at me for needing. For being born into the first town in the USA to have fluridated its' entire public water supply. Every tooth in my head is a testimony to the worthlessness of doing such things, but don't go by my experience. I probably ruined the effects by eating so much candy, and not ever being told to floss. Our family thought it was for old folks. Until I was 15 and fell in love with a future dental student, and learned better, but by then, the damage had been done.

As you'd guess by someone who knew where in town was a gas station with a broken candy machine. If you put in $.25, you'd get out 5 big double packaged Reeses' Peanut Butter Cups. I drool just typing the name. Who thought up such delights? And why didn't they realize what they would do to our health and teeth? Diabetes also runs in our family, so gobs of sugar are highly frowned upon... even if you are highly skinny, you are not offered sugary sweets to help you gain weight, darn it. You still have your teeth to consider. And who can digest nuts?

This article also harkened back to Peeps, those Easter time chicks, available in neon yellow or pink, with tiny chocolate eyes and beak. I loved those too when they got a bit stale, about a week old... and darn if they didn't talk about that in the article, vis-a-vis the Circus Peanuts as well.

If I were bored as a kid - nearly always - I would first spend a good bit of time squashing the Peanut or Peep - and here Peanuts are unbeatable, squashing that sucker as flat as flat could be. Then stretch it out a little bit, and flatten it some more.

You can do this for awhile. Did you know that? Until your circus peanut is like a long orange tongue. Then you take little bites, and chew really slowly and don't take the next bite until you have finished, let's say reading the page you are reading, that Circus Peanut can easily last you half the afternoon.

See, the article was talking about how Circus Peanuts have nothing to do with circuses or peanuts but have been around forever, and are difficult to make. It's about humidity and so forth. Well they make a lot of them regardless, and tons of money still ruining kids' teeth, so don't feel sorry for them. When they figure out how to make them with Splenda, then I have no beef. They should make candy my grand kids can eat w/o worrying about their teeth or blood sugar. Even discover how to do it to be healthy - heaven forbid.

Closest thing to healthy candy I know of is Panda Licorice... it is sweetened with molasses and comes in yummy raspberry or black if that is your thing. Also - bars, or bites, my thing. It is also made with whole wheat flour and some other healthy things. You'll recognize all the ingredients. Fruit rolls are very good substitutes for candy for the kids too, me in other words. But I still have to brush right after anything good passes through my chompers.

Well growing older I learned to read what was actually IN the foods I ate and there are no redeeming values to either Circus Peanuts or Peeps. Possibly, I could use either or both in a painting or sculpture. That might be really cool. The article mentioned there being other shapes and colors of Orange Circus Peanuts, but I have never seen any such thing.

If so, I was thinking of melting and mushing them around together, letting them harden and cool, and then polyurethane the whole shebang depending upon the effect.

Add a row of marching Peeps along the top and bottom of the painting... maybe then use some beautiful watercolor inks to paint over the polyurethane, therefore disguising what the heck is under there, dress up those Peep shapes! Glue some new real feathers on them, and exchange their chocolate features for what - oh - easy- sequined features! Funny painting, huh?

An interesting fact about the 'peanut' making process is that they 'sit' and solidify in a very special room for 24 hours after they've been mixed - the batter - and poured into the molds. They just sit and dry out to a special humidity which is when they are inspected and packaged and you might buy them shortly thereafter. I have occassionally bought the softest Circus Peanuts and this is why I learned. They are brand new and fresh. The harder they are, the older. and as I mentioned, some people like them soft and some a week out of the bag like me. I had no idea there was such a cult surrounding the things, or that anyone besides me on earth had ever let them get stale on purpose. Naturally the first time was an accident, and then, it was like, OH, this is much better!

Visual candy is what my friend John calls beautiful things to look at. So I included an art photograph that is called "Josie Tortures Faye", just so you'd remember why this is called an 'Artists' life", and not a nanas' life. That photograph took a weekend to compose, and is the end result of many Photoshop lessons given freely and lovingly by my beasty teacher friend Josie. Thus, Josie tortures Faye. As in, no dinner until we reached a certain place, no going out all weekend. Etc. It's ok with me, I'd rather be doing art than anything except you - know - what. (Clue:Initials E.M.G. & B.J.G.)