This is the longest day ever. I am trying to keep awake by drinking a Dr. Pepper, and I am too tired to pick the glass up. Way too heavy. I think i will look around for a photograph of the last light left on when I head off for bed every evening. It look like a fish tank, but is nothing more than a tacky old lamp which I treasure, a gift which has kept on giving. Now Baya and Esme are fascinated by it, and think they are real fish. I think that is so sad, I have bought a real, albeit quite small fish bowl, to buy a genuine fish. Rebecca assures me it must be kept out of their reach, though. Or might become a land lubber. Hm...

So how did I come to grow so tired? For one thing, I finished all the beaded safety pins for my next bracelet. Now that was a lot of work to do in one day, and I want to assemble it too, but won't allow myself the craziness of giving in to such urges. Tomorrow is another day. And my back is tired too. This means Stop, in capital letters. For me, who never did know when to stop, this is a whole new way to operate in the studio. With the ability to stop. As I must, and will. I want to get up early tomorrow and see what is up with David down at Autex; maybe we can do something about the 350Z soon and get out from under it.

OK, probably time for a new paragraph, Rebecca invited me down for the weekend, and I do want to go desperately. But can't leave Stevie here in the middle of everything, with so much hanging on his head. I am so afraid of just how much stress us old folks can tolerate... so I will wait until the Z is sold and the house is closed on, and we are back right side up again financially, where we belong. Poor S has worked as hard as anyone I know, most of his entire career, and now that he isn't able to, the government figures that out in an instant and comes snarling after him like a wolf pack. Let me say 'us' as we both sign the same taxes.

What I am saying is this: if possible, never run out of money, or you could be just hours from living on the streets. It happened to me once, and it amazed me that first night. Too painful to dwell upon, and why bother?